There are some things about chemo that are not widely publicized. When people discuss it, it's generally in broad terms, such as "Chemo sucks!", but not the specifics about what it's really all about.
First to our online guest, Ms. Lurleen Lumpkins who wins today's prize in "Guess that chemo Symptom!"Ms. Lumpkins guessed "Hyperactivity". Ms. Lumpkins will receive a month's supply of rice-a-roni!
When you start treatment you receive a helpful list of potential symptoms of chemo (in my case, interferon). There are many many possible symptoms ranging from the banal (aches and chills), to the extreme (crazy long eyelashes). No one gets ALL the symptoms, but everyone gets some of them. Some of them are very unusual. Almost everyone loses their appetite (not me). Almost everyone feels Fatigued (not me). Hyperactivity is one of the more unusual symptoms. Apparently it is not typical for people getting interferon treatment to bounce around in their ugly vinyl chair, sing aloud (needs more cowbell), and woof down snacks while hooked up. My nurse offered to tie me down. I think she was kidding. Maybe.
What about my new superpowers? SO COOL, I can taste the IV fluids! I can differentiate the taste of Saline (old people's basement), Interferon (like a dirty copper penny), and Heparin (ozony after a lightning storm). Obviously the IV is not going into my mouth, so logically this must mean I have superpowers. I asked them to try other things in my IV so I can test out my new skills but they said no. None of these taste awful, BTW, but it's real. Cheese-its help with the aftertaste.
My other superpower is a little harder to imagine a use for- I am in contact with the CIA to offer my services, but they may not be able to deploy me strategically either. My pee is toxic.
That's right. I have toxic pee. This has been one of the most amazing revelations about chemo therapy, and who ever talks about it? NO ONE! the government is trying to hush it up. I am a one woman killing machine, If I can just find something to pee on in the name of American Liberty. Apparently our wimpy water-saving home toilets cannot clear out the great toxic mess that is interferon pee in one flush. I require 2 flushes to protect my family, my pets and humanity.
You all watching at home are welcome to guess future symptoms. I may even tell you if you guess right.
People have been using words like "strong" and "brave" in conjunction with ME. Um no. My plan is to brat the cancer to death. Brave is the blind guy who rides my bus home, and travels all over the city not being able to see. I just decided that since this is MY cancer, and MY treatment, I am going to have to do it my way (EAR WORM!!!!!)
Why am I so casual about all of it? Am I yellah? Hell no. There is no way out but through. Besides, the week after my surgery in November I almost died in the hospital.
OOPs, look at the time- we'll continue THAT part of the story next time!
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